You remember the times when your mother and father would quarrel but you always never knew the reason for each fit they threw at one another. There were times when you would stand behind the closed door of their room to make sense out of their shouts and screams and occasionally you would end up crying for them to stop. Although you were curious, you never dared to ask them about their fights.
When Power Rangers was aired on TV, you were so intrigued with it up to a point where you were even reluctant to take a shit when Power Rangers was on TV although the head of the poo nugget had already peeked out from your butthole because you thought the fat faced guy in the cylinder tank had no significant role in the show because he was so helpless that even any one of those UFO-like grey coloured weak minions of the bad guys could whoop the fat faced guy's ass (that is if he even had one). That is just how cool Power Rangers was back then.
Then there was the first day of primary school. For the first week the school would be infested with parents and other kids like you who were crying half the time for no goddamn reason! During lunch hours in primary school, Police and Thief was the best shit ever. It was the best shit ever when you were a Thief but it was the worst shit ever when you were a Police because being a Police was bloody hell tiring since there wasn't a House for you to rest. You also hated the game when you were a Police because of its stupid rules - you catch a thief, thief goes to jail, thief number two runs to the jail, thief number two touches any thief that's inside the jail and that thief is free to roam around again. It was a never ending process. Since you were only in Standard at that time, the Standard 2 kids would pick on you and most of the time you were forced into becoming a Police. You hated that. But you still played Police and Thief every fucking day because it was the best shit ever. There were also times in class where you got free lessons and you and your friends got together and played pens where you had to knock all the other pens off the table, in which you would cheat and use some fat ass-ed metal pen which would knock off all their cheap kilometrico pens off in one shot.
There were also the times where you bragged and told your friends that you had five sports cars at home, five maids, a house with twenty rooms, your own TV in your room, three Playstation consoles, twenty Gameboys and five computers at home but in actual fact you only had one Proton Saga, one maid, a house with four rooms, an alarm radio in your room, one Playstation console, one Gameboy and one computer.
Later on you remember having thoughts of how your life as an eleven year old city kid was different from kids living in villages and small towns. You played Final Fantasy VII on Playstation whilst they went skinny dipping in murky rivers and lakes. You played Dune, Command&Conquer, Starcraft and Warcraft on PC whilst they climbed Pak Din's rambutan tree to steal the fruits. You were hooked on Dragonball and Rockman comics whilst they died playing meriam buloh. You also remember that it was a trend to write in autograph books back then.Writing all your hobbies, favourite food/drink, email address, icq number(assuming you could memorize it or even know how to use it) etc, etc. You clearly remember a certain poem you wrote in one of your classmate's autograph book that went like this:
Drink hot coffee,
Drink hot tea,Burn your lips,
and remember me.
You remember breezing through UPSR and your parents boasted about your results to all your relatives whilst you boasted about your 250 bucks to your friends, 50 bucks for each A you scored. At 12 years old, you were a dumb kid who didn't know how to splash your cash on remodelling your car, condoms, porn mags, alcohol or foosball so you saved up all of it in your trusty piggy bank to which your older sibling sneakily smashed it, stole all of it and when you questioned them about it, they told you that he/she needed to "borrow" some cash.
Then it was the first day of high school. No one soiled their pants in class like primary school. But you did soil your pants that night and it wasn't brown or black in colour; it was of a foggy white coloured translucent liquid, very much like barley water left to sit in the fridge for over a week. At that point, you realized that you became a child all over again because you bloody hell wet your pants again just like when you were 4 years old.
Although you already got a piece of plastic with your face looking all wierd, you weren't any less playful. As much as you enjoyed testing out those kung fu moves you saw on TV on your sibling, you found out that there was another game that was more enjoyable than playing timbang with bottle caps from beer bottles or playing masak-masak with dolls with your sibling. The game was that whenever you were in the showers, you almost always never missed out on aiming the shower head on your crotch because you thought that it was the best shit that had ever happened to you, even better than the time when you popped some Crackle Pops into your mouth which would start fizzing and popping. Later on, you found the game to be more effective when you choked the shit out of your faucet with your mighty righty and pounded on it like there's always a tomorrow, to which tomorrow came and you did it again..and then, and again..and again..and sometimes up to eight times a day(as voon soon told me bout a friend of his once)...and sometimes you never managed any because halfway through, someone would barge into the room and you freaked and you pulled up your trousers and you put on a straight face right away and went on pretending as if you were checking your Hotmail inbox or playing Neopets.
From then on, your life changed helluva' lot. You remember freaking out when you had a moustache growing on your pubic region and thinking that it looked like an uncooked duck with its neck still intact. You remember how your opinions about girls changed from thinking that they were disgusting and annoying competitors in class because the number one student in the class was always a girl to thinking that they were the ones who could make you the coolest guy in school because you could couple up with a girl and boast to your buddies that you've got a girlfriend. It was then when your opinions impelled your sexual urges and you soon became flirtatious towards that girl whom you thought was the best looking in the whole of Secondary 2 but in actual fact she was just mediocre because all girls without make-up are mediocre and that's why nowadays girls as young as twelve are using cosmetics just so they won't look mediocre but too bad they all look wierd just because they haven't fully developed.
You still recall how you used to steal a few glances at her during lunch time and how you used to look for excuses to exchange a few words with her. Although you were a newbie at courtship, your lack of confidence didn't hinder you from obtaining her MSN and not ICQ because ICQ's popularity was going downhill at that time due its fleeing users who were sickened by that "UH-OH", that pissant ugly fat fuck girl from school is online now and she sends me a message so I think I should go on invisible status now" annoying shit message sound. You didn't know better at that time. You really didn't because you were a fucking nOOb at flirting. You very well remember how you overused this sequence of conversation whenever you saw her online:
"Hi! Don't see you online too often nowadays. I missed you lah. You got miss me anot?"
"Hello! How was school today? Didn't really get to speak with you during lunch time. I missed you lah. You got miss me or not?"
"Hehe."
Then there was your first girlfriend. You still remember how you coupled up with her. You asked her, "Will you be my girlfriend?", as simple as that, very much like how any pathethic, unromantic guy would ask someone to marry them by popping the question, "Will you marry me?" instead of saying, "Baobei, let's shag the shit out of each other tonight because I want to impregnate you so that we'll have no choice but to get married and live happily ever after." So, that was the stupidest way of getting yourself committed, but it was extremely effective in a noobish kind of way since both you and here were fucking noobs. She was your girlfriend and you were her boyfriend. It was only a status and nothing else happened, not even a lousy peck on the cheek because once again you were a fucking Noob (and a fucking Saibot). After two months or so, you told her that you were bored of the whole thing and said that you and her were better off as friends. She was cool with it and so it ended just like that. But some of you might have clinged on longer and when you were fed up of staring at her face most of the time you were in school, you asked for a break up and she went into EMO-MODE gao gao. And after that you avoided each other acted as if the other was some retard you did not want to be related with.
Anyways, after SPM it's a whole new story. New friends, new experiences, new life.
to be continued..
someday.
ok ciao!
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